on a growing impulse to go

I heard a voice over the din of the cafeteria and the rumble of the chapel, over the iPod headphones in my ear–over it all–I heard a voice saying, "Go! Go! Go!"

And, I spend the considerable portion of my energy resisting the desire to withdraw. It is not hesitance toward going. No, it is the responsibility–the grown-up impulse–to remain here. To be here is to be present with the twenty-four hundred other people and believe in the worship songs before prayer in chapel.

–I am not gone yet, I repeat to myself to the tune of a contemporary chorus. –Give it three more months, then go, go, go!